​AWAKE AWAKE
that's all it takes
is another crumbling, white line
conform and confide into this life
of memories erased and all the seconds we waste
as we take away the time we can't replace
bored to death now I drink just to suffer 
the loss of structure; no downers, all uppers 
you knew it was all a lie 
the life so contrived, the blood starts to rise
every feeling I get whilst I shout like a wretch
the pain it begets, I tear before I stretch
and it's so funny how we place our vows
drugs bring us happiness up until the comedown 

and it's such a fucking shame
that my life's a circle again
I crossed those lines 
now I'm lost and alone, all the time
this feeling of dread just won't be shed
the highs come and go, I'd rather be dead 

I'D RATHER BE DEAD
is all I hear in my head
was this supposed to be joyous euphony?
to me it's shrieking, crippling misery
you said "only one line and you'll be just fine"
now where are you as I writhe and break my mind? 
held out a welcoming hand to try and withstand
your words are gone, fell through my palm like sand
you're in the hellhole, the virtueless trade
throwing white bags as morality evaporates
I thought I could fix this, I thought I was safe
but the fix hits it quick as rationality dissipates 
now I'm lost and far gone to the pain that was wrought
not a sin, not a fault, just the drugs that I'm on

and it's such a fucking shame
that my life's a circle again 
I crossed all those lines 
now my heart just breaks, all the damn time
this feeling of dread just can't be shed
the drugs feed the flames, the fire is in my head 

SO LET IT BURN
let it burn, let it burn
midnight toil takes to sunrise without toil
blood on the rise, raised beyond a boil 
I'm ablaze! I'm ablaze!
the fire without it's cage, sanity as it's razed
destroy the joy like emotions were unwanted toys
think myself a clever boy when I hide it; so coy! 
I can't help but feel like I'm slipping away
can't contain the rage but the drugs tell me it's okay 
lost a house, a home, a love, my own
maybe someday I'll grow up and reap what I've sown
and maybe someday we'll all get what we're owed
but until that day, maybe I'll just keep at my blow 

and it's not a fucking shame
that I chose to end up this way 
I crossed all those lines
I'm at fault for my vices, every single time
this feeling of dread is my recompense
but I still keep going, disregarding better sense

this high is my life
you can't take what is mine 

Tomorrow... All of this dies

The feelings
The life
The romance
This microcosm of being that has been created
Outside the realm of existence
As we know it 
Everything we thought we were 
Everything it all
"was"

Everything we were
Has been postponed
Pushed off
Left for later
It died 
Everything we used to be
Died, momentarily
And it was beautiful 

We found a new life
Here
In this place
Beyond what we were
Or what we thought of ourselves
We are here
As nothing but ourselves
Under the judgment of no one
Beneath the fear of no one
Just ourselves
Nothing but ourselves

Tomorrow... All of that dies
We return to the monotony
We return to the mundane
We return to life... as it is
As it should be
As it were...
I am so... terrified... 
...to return to normalcy

Here... I felt relaxation
Here... I felt freedom
Here... I felt love 

Here I found something that was an escape from my natural world
Something that made me wonder why I keep on in my current atmosphere
Something that told me there was something better

I don't ever want to leave this fanciful world I have discovered

But tomorrow...

Tomorrow... All of this dies
The feelings
The life
The romance
This illusion of life that has been created 
It all dies tomorrow. 
And life comes rushing back in 
Reality reawakens 
And everything returns to normalcy

Everything returns and it dies. 

The amplification,
Then the cap
You thought you were ascending
But you plateaued
And your creativity 
Your spark
Died
On those rocks
Success was in reach, you thought
You were on the up and up 

But sadly, you aren't

That's the shame
Your blame as it's "misplaced"
This was all your fault
You lost it all 
Gone forevermore
Your spark
Done
Extinguished candescence
Victory was in reach, you thought
You were on the up and up

But tragically, you aren't

Isn't it just the end of it?
When someone tells you it's finished?
You have failed so many times
What's left to try?
What gives you the right? 

That's the grace
Your blame as it's placed
This was all your fault 
But you're not forgone 
Is it lost?
Your spark? 
No.
Invigorated resplendence
New life is in reach, you know
You are on the up and up 

And valiantly, you are 

You are.