Awaken
Hasten Waiting for the quickness In absence of essence Promise I was given Of respite It never existed Or was it beyond my vision? Birthright never christened Purpose never envisioned Is this the extent of my existence? Am I such a misfit? Sit here on my own Dull undertone Left alone Is it wrong that I feel at home? Solitude as its shone The isolation I've become Is there happiness in this madness? The clairvoyant clarity of correction This drug that enhances me Modifies, molds and directs everything My chaos engulfing I just don't feel anything Lapse in absence Pulse without sense You said it was for the best Where was my consent? Correctional facility I am a prison of me Barriers surrounding Intention without ending Inspiration without grounding Memory without existing This is disturbing How out of touch it all seems I could go on and on with this Product of the mess I'm in Disordered structure Lost but found; abducted The spiral ascends My mind twists and bends I wish it would end But its just how it begins Grinding teeth, gnashing Wondering Is this the me I'm supposed to be? Is this supposed to be me, happy? My, my, what a question? Why don't I just say fuck everything? Wouldn't that be so easy? Is that what's best.... easy? Play out life simply, watch it repeat? I won't rest. I won't rest. I will not rest. Alone - as I may be. Here - what I can be The me I'm supposed to be Without you all judging I am a prison of me And this prison is lovely
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Author"Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls." - Anais Nin Archives
February 2023
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