jumbled mess, non contest
disrespect a family crest
introspect your fucking test
goddamn loss at its very best 
shape shift, movement 
lack of improvement 
what the hell am I really doing?
who are you, thinking you feel it? 
I'll shed you like snakeskin
molt and rot and be done with it
oh God get me out of the garden
don't want your grace; I'm over it
I didn't lose the one
never materialize, never become
never knew you, where you from? 
oh that's nice... now get gone
half-fed, half-hearted
lacking will to be complete in either
falling apart like my mother
wasted and withered, willow without her
I've shed you like the leaves 
like I was fortunate enough as a tree
maybe I'll be buried with that fantasy
change a season and lose all feeling
oh God, get me out of the garden
the apple fell far as our souls harden
corruption, reduction, what war is this? 
hands outstretched as they're lost in violence
I reached for your hand one too many times
lost the grip, let it slip, can't call you mine
I won't say that I'm feeling fine
but I also won't say I want to rewind
because now I'm out of the garden
escaped the delusion, parted with it
my half heart as it went it's farthest
lost control and it was beautiful , cathartic

forgone and forgot
like I'm already lost 
haven't stepped out the door
already buried past the floor

in your eyes
like the choice was all mine
like I've left of my own volition
like the move wasn't submission 

I've been cornered
sequestered and staggered
whether by my own devices
or by politics and their vices

but you don't see my side
you look through your own eyes
my decisions and their impact
to you it's not about my happiness

can't you see this isn't what I want?
I see my dreams; these aren't my thoughts
but it's really just about you 
can't be happy while others are too 

I'm sorry your life isn't a perfect picture
I'm sorry "me working on me" affects it
but I'm escaping this flawed institution
whether I care if it affects you or it doesn't 

but don't you ever speak ill of me 
for wanting to be the best I can be
and don't you dare ever discredit
all the time and effort I've given 
because I bled for you while I could
I tried to give you all of my good
but you write it off like it's nothing
"oh fuck him, he's leaving"
if this is really how you think
know fully the bridge you're burning