I stare up at the starry sky
As I reflect on life, as the night reflects on mine Wondering how far away they must be How far away they still seem I stare into the sky thinking how the wind upon my cheek Must be much colder up there, in the ether O'er the many lightyears it would take to reach them Seems like a triviality now, in my speck-of-sand existence Quietly, I see the moon in all her grandeur but she has not the answer What I crave is much farther away A celestial phantasm of the mind, or the divine? At this point I truly cannot say I can only watch as light floods the darkness Million year old iridescence in silence, in emptiness They're still so far away And I, here, floating... among the others Worried of the rigors tomorrow will hold But suddenly, everything just feels... small In this speck-of-sand existence Then I close my eyes and look away Trying to forget the stars I've seen
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"Slip through the veil of reality with me This nightly fantasy Close our eyes for a time In absence of the light Motion picture shows free flow Creativity just goes and goes and goes Spinning the tale of one's subconscious In the silence of unconsciousness Which viewing will we see tonight? What will the screenplay say about our minds?" What comprises a dream? Our brains do not so easily decipher between thoughts, feelings and realities Therein Like when you awake from your slumber but while you were under your brain wondered why your significant other was lying with another In your dream But the thought, feeling and reality was that this were true At least to you Because you dreamt it and you felt it in that dream Why does this phenomena occur and recur? What about our subconscious is so tied to what's obscure? Then even more what does it mean when we cease to dream at all? Is there some void of recollection or is our mind simply a pall? I am appalled At how little on the subject is truly known When my dreams amaze me constantly but I know nothing of why they're shown But in the blissful ignorance of sleep To my dreams I will retreat Repeat and repeat and repeat To rebuild, to replenish To hide from my surroundings and their blemishes To take a trip (a vacation) to my whole other world There's scratches on my glasses
They seem to blur all my existence But in the same way they are testament To what I've seen and how I view all this Isn't that just like life? Starry-eyed how we begin Then we're introduced to sin Then it dulls and scrapes our lens Corrupted... destruction within Then we can't see differently Hatred comes so easily Allowing the world to cloud our sight When no one really knows what's right Buy a new pair of glasses Change your frames, kid Aging.
Body. Fleeting. Rotting. Living. Dying. Breathing. Nothing. (Then nothing...) The end comes sooner than we think But we control what's in between Our lives hung on a silver string Bodies amassing entropy The soul's shell as it depletes A mind's decline to maddening How do we live with this disease, The evanescence of this dream? (When it breaks) No one can save us (When it takes) All our perspective (We are erased) It's all over now We've simply wandered through this aimless life not knowing why or how And now we're out. Aging. Body. Fleeting. Rotting. Living. Dying. Breathing. Nothing. Gripped in fear, I cling to life Obsessing over daily strife Not knowing when or how I'll die Its coming like a thief at night I have not done all that I want I still have more to give to you There are still corners left unturned I will not die before I've learned I have so much more to give... And now I see the end so clear A lack of accomplishment, not death, is my fear And now this all makes sense The value of impermanence It's not how long we're in this mess It's what we make of it Until we're out. Living. Dying. Breathing. Striving. Waking. Seeking. Being. Fighting. Suffused
Anger imbued Rip into my right hand This unwanted brand Scream against the schema Safety eradicated You can do everything right Some of the time... Our control as its displaced My life in a victimless trade Or was that really the case? Is there a place for this blame? Wrestled within my head, this consciousness Sleepless amidst dreams of dread Visions from beyond my death The scar of events etched on my right hand Is this meaningless? Predestination This godlike vocation I raged against it My right hand relinquished When you're only right some of the time Who makes sense of what's yours or mine? The esoteric essence? The evanescent elected? Governance misdirected At society's discretion Is this meaningless? This is existence burns with regret Propelled by lies of betterment Progress, regress; it's a fucking mess War or peace is manufactured within And like the factory we produce beliefs And they construct our reality When the key to life is simplicity But intricacy is valued in complexity What does it all fucking mean? How do we trust anything we've seen? The knowledge begets the question: Have we ever truly lived? Did we always have nothing to give? Was our existence meaningless? Or was it some sort of gift? Life abound in insignificance Predetermined and dead before we began? This can't be how it ends An endless deathloop can't be heavensent Perhaps the answer is within our grasp Was free-will snatched from our fingertips? Though the burden be of choice Then this burden I will bear The power we all have within The power to choose to begin Lies in my right hand This unwanted brand /// By those lifeless eyes I know you It's like I stare back into mine |
Author"Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls." - Anais Nin Archives
February 2023
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