I stare up at the starry sky
As I reflect on life, as the night reflects on mine
Wondering how far away they must be
How far away they still seem
I stare into the sky thinking how the wind upon my cheek
Must be much colder up there, in the ether
O'er the many lightyears it would take to reach them
Seems like a triviality now, in my speck-of-sand existence
Quietly, I see the moon in all her grandeur but she has not the answer
What I crave is much farther away
A celestial phantasm of the mind, or the divine? 
At this point I truly cannot say
I can only watch as light floods the darkness
Million year old iridescence in silence, in emptiness
They're still so far away
And I, here, floating... among the others
Worried of the rigors tomorrow will hold
But suddenly, everything just feels... small
In this speck-of-sand existence
Then I close my eyes and look away
Trying to forget the stars I've seen 

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"Slip through the veil of reality with me
This nightly fantasy
Close our eyes for a time
In absence of the light
Motion picture shows free flow
Creativity just goes and goes and goes
Spinning the tale of one's subconscious
In the silence of unconsciousness
Which viewing will we see tonight?
What will the screenplay say about our minds?"

What comprises a dream?
Our brains do not so easily decipher between thoughts, feelings and realities
Therein
Like when you awake from your slumber but while you were under your brain wondered why your significant other was lying with another
In your dream
But the thought, feeling and reality was that this were true
At least to you
Because you dreamt it and you felt it in that dream
Why does this phenomena occur and recur?
What about our subconscious is so tied to what's obscure? 
Then even more what does it mean when we cease to dream at all?
Is there some void of recollection or is our mind simply a pall?
I am appalled
At how little on the subject is truly known
When my dreams amaze me constantly but I know nothing of why they're shown 

But in the blissful ignorance of sleep
To my dreams I will retreat
Repeat and repeat and repeat
To rebuild, to replenish
To hide from my surroundings and their blemishes
To take a trip (a vacation) to my whole other world

There's scratches on my glasses
They seem to blur all my existence
But in the same way they are testament
To what I've seen and how I view all this

Isn't that just like life?

Starry-eyed how we begin
Then we're introduced to sin
Then it dulls and scrapes our lens
Corrupted... destruction within

Then we can't see differently
Hatred comes so easily 
Allowing the world to cloud our sight
When no one really knows what's right

Buy a new pair of glasses
Change your frames, kid 

Aging.
Body.
Fleeting.
Rotting.
Living.
Dying.
Breathing.
Nothing.

(Then nothing...)

The end comes sooner than we think
But we control what's in between
Our lives hung on a silver string
Bodies amassing entropy

The soul's shell as it depletes
A mind's decline to maddening
How do we live with this disease,
The evanescence of this dream?

(When it breaks)
No one can save us
(When it takes)
All our perspective
(We are erased)
It's all over now
We've simply wandered through this aimless life not knowing why or how 

And now we're out. 

Aging. 
Body.
Fleeting.
Rotting.
Living.
Dying.
Breathing.
Nothing.

Gripped in fear, I cling to life
Obsessing over daily strife
Not knowing when or how I'll die
Its coming like a thief at night
I have not done all that I want
I still have more to give to you
There are still corners left unturned
I will not die before I've learned

I have so much more to give...

And now I see the end so clear
A lack of accomplishment, not death, is my fear

And now this all makes sense 
The value of impermanence 
It's not how long we're in this mess
It's what we make of it

Until we're out. 

Living.
Dying.
Breathing. 
Striving.
Waking.
Seeking. 
Being.
Fighting. 

Suffused
Anger imbued
Rip into my right hand
This unwanted brand

Scream against the schema
Safety eradicated
You can do everything right
Some of the time...

Our control as its displaced
My life in a victimless trade
Or was that really the case? 
Is there a place for this blame?

Wrestled within my head, this consciousness
Sleepless amidst dreams of dread
Visions from beyond my death
The scar of events etched on my right hand

​Is this meaningless?

Predestination
This godlike vocation
I raged against it
My right hand relinquished

When you're only right some of the time
Who makes sense of what's yours or mine?
The esoteric essence?
The evanescent elected?
Governance misdirected
At society's discretion

Is this meaningless? 

This is existence burns with regret
Propelled by lies of betterment
Progress, regress; it's a fucking mess
War or peace is manufactured within
And like the factory we produce beliefs
And they construct our reality
When the key to life is simplicity
But intricacy is valued in complexity
What does it all fucking mean? 
How do we trust anything we've seen? 

The knowledge begets the question: 

Have we ever truly lived?
Did we always have nothing to give? 
Was our existence meaningless? 
Or was it some sort of gift? 

Life abound in insignificance
Predetermined and dead before we began?
This can't be how it ends
An endless deathloop can't be heavensent 

Perhaps the answer is within our grasp
Was free-will snatched from our fingertips?
Though the burden be of choice
Then this burden I will bear
The power we all have within
The power to choose to begin
Lies in my right hand
This unwanted brand

///

By those lifeless eyes I know you
It's like I stare back into mine