High

​AWAKE AWAKE
that's all it takes
is another crumbling, white line
conform and confide into this life
of memories erased and all the seconds we waste
as we take away the time we can't replace
bored to death now I drink just to suffer 
the loss of structure; no downers, all uppers 
you knew it was all a lie 
the life so contrived, the blood starts to rise
every feeling I get whilst I shout like a wretch
the pain it begets, I tear before I stretch
and it's so funny how we place our vows
drugs bring us happiness up until the comedown 

and it's such a fucking shame
that my life's a circle again
I crossed those lines 
now I'm lost and alone, all the time
this feeling of dread just won't be shed
the highs come and go, I'd rather be dead 

I'D RATHER BE DEAD
is all I hear in my head
was this supposed to be joyous euphony?
to me it's shrieking, crippling misery
you said "only one line and you'll be just fine"
now where are you as I writhe and break my mind? 
held out a welcoming hand to try and withstand
your words are gone, fell through my palm like sand
you're in the hellhole, the virtueless trade
throwing white bags as morality evaporates
I thought I could fix this, I thought I was safe
but the fix hits it quick as rationality dissipates 
now I'm lost and far gone to the pain that was wrought
not a sin, not a fault, just the drugs that I'm on

and it's such a fucking shame
that my life's a circle again 
I crossed all those lines 
now my heart just breaks, all the damn time
this feeling of dread just can't be shed
the drugs feed the flames, the fire is in my head 

SO LET IT BURN
let it burn, let it burn
midnight toil takes to sunrise without toil
blood on the rise, raised beyond a boil 
I'm ablaze! I'm ablaze!
the fire without it's cage, sanity as it's razed
destroy the joy like emotions were unwanted toys
think myself a clever boy when I hide it; so coy! 
I can't help but feel like I'm slipping away
can't contain the rage but the drugs tell me it's okay 
lost a house, a home, a love, my own
maybe someday I'll grow up and reap what I've sown
and maybe someday we'll all get what we're owed
but until that day, maybe I'll just keep at my blow 

and it's not a fucking shame
that I chose to end up this way 
I crossed all those lines
I'm at fault for my vices, every single time
this feeling of dread is my recompense
but I still keep going, disregarding better sense

this high is my life
you can't take what is mine