FUCK UP

"They never judge you on what you say you're going to do,
​they only judge you on what you actually​ do"

I'm twenty-five years old
Every day digging that six foot hole
When I was younger they told me I'd have it all
As I look up at my diploma on the wall 
Damn, I just want to smash it 
I laugh at the delusion that it means shit
Amidst the rest of the scene I'm in
My sordid, little pig pen
Residue on the desk
Empty beer cans, fucking mess
Trash missed the can
Piled up, unkempt, endless 

Goddamn, this is what a fuck up I am

I'm twenty-nine years old
Wondering how I ended up in this hole
Forever in the passenger seat
Driving's not really my thing, so says the county
They seem to really have a problem with me
I'm just trying to do my own thing
Crack a cold one and I'll get over it
Have twelve or twenty and I'll completely forget
Smoke a little weed then it's finally gone
No need to worry with this prescription I'm on
Someday I'll be an actor and I'll be the man
Repeat that lie to myself over again 

Goddamn, this is what a fuck up I am

I'm thirty-three years old
Walls starting to look tall in this six foot hole
Made my way out of yet another job
Apparently it's frowned upon to come in drunk
How the hell was I supposed to know? 
Since when can't a bartender drink what they've sold? 
I really didn't need that shit gig
When I'm out in Cali, I'm gonna make it big
This year's gonna be the year, I can feel it
Then you'll all see what I've been saying
I just need to get exposure so they know who I am
It's all going to come together, it's gonna all make sense

Goddamn, this is what a fuck up I am

I'm thirty-seven years old
They filled it all in, I'm buried in my hole
Never ended up making it out west
Got some bitch pregnant and she kept the kid
Had to actually keep my job to help pay for it
"Pull and pray" turned out to be ineffective
Started dabbling in pills to make the days go by
Pop it with some vodka and hang on for the ride
Didn't know just where this ride would take me
The room got cold and everything started spinning
It started getting dark when the walls caved in
I never imagined that it would end like this...

Goddamn, this is what a fuck up I am

But there's a small shred of hope
For everyone like me who's struggling to cope
I'm still only twenty-nine
And I've still got time to turn around my life
This story doesn't have to end when I'm thirty-seven
But the difference lies in my own actions
Do I act on my passions or lead a life of indifference?
Always making excuses? 
"Don't worry, man, it'll happen when it happens"
That mentality is bullshit
They never judge you by what you say, you have to actually do it

I may be a fuck up, but it doesn't have to be all I am