I've walked whatever I've walked
Doesn't seem enough to me They watch and they envy They see and should envy nothing You want what you can't have But I don't want this inheritance Damn the Irish disease And how it's taken hold of me What's a father but a name? What's alcohol but a projection of rage? I know this wasn't my place But it's what I became And it's nothing but shame Cocaine, weed... Doesn't make a difference to me Just fill the empty Let my thoughts be released Give solace to the indifference Don't make me claim my inheritance Damn the Irish disease And how it affects me What's a Savior without a faith? What's a coffin without a grave? I know this wasn't my place But it's what I became And it's everything and the shame I've drank and blown 'til I've choked While you all think it's a joke Where's the pun in the rising of the sun? Where's the release in holding the gun? As it levels on my existence... Is my depression my inheritance? Damn the Irish disease And how it cripples me What is the empty existence? What is left if I feel nothing? Is it sad that this is my place? Seeing the nothing I became In light and in wake Of the shame Of everything it takes At the tender, early age This is how the disease feels While it means nothing to you As you read this And don't understand it Thinking to yourself that you're... "free of it" But we're all suffering We are all suffering What's it going to take... For our shame to be erased? What will it take... For you to understand our pain?
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Author"Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls." - Anais Nin Archives
February 2023
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