Prison of Me

Awaken
Hasten
Waiting for the quickness
In absence of essence
Promise I was given
Of respite
It never existed
Or was it beyond my vision?
Birthright never christened
Purpose never envisioned
Is this the extent of my existence? 

Am I such a misfit? 

Sit here on my own
Dull undertone
Left alone
Is it wrong that I feel at home?  
Solitude as its shone
The isolation I've become

​Is there happiness in this madness? 
The clairvoyant clarity of correction
This drug that enhances me
Modifies, molds and directs everything
My chaos engulfing
I just don't feel anything
Lapse in absence
Pulse without sense
You said it was for the best
Where was my consent? 

Correctional facility
I am a prison of me
Barriers surrounding
Intention without ending
Inspiration without grounding
Memory without existing
This is disturbing
How out of touch it all seems

I could go on and on with this
Product of the mess I'm in
Disordered structure
Lost but found; abducted
The spiral ascends
My mind twists and bends
I wish it would end
But its just how it begins

Grinding teeth, gnashing
Wondering
Is this the me I'm supposed to be?
Is this supposed to be me, happy? 
My, my, what a question?
Why don't I just say fuck everything? 

Wouldn't that be so easy? 

Is that what's best.... easy? 
Play out life simply, watch it repeat?

I won't rest. 
I won't rest. 
I will not rest. 

Alone - as I may be.
Here - what I can be
The me I'm supposed to be
Without you all judging

I am a prison of me
And this prison is lovely