The Apathy In Me (2009)

I'm trying to put a different take on this concept you call rage
I'm trying to look outside anger, something beyond hate
Loathing completely set aside
And I want to pick that all up in my chest
And aim it straight at you

I want to fill with every unhealthy emotion
Everything detrimental to my sanity, to everyone around me
I want to swell and become saturated
And destroy everything in my path until I reach you
I just hold such contempt for you all

But spin it, twist it, stretch out all the devilish thoughts and violence
I just can't conjure the spirit
I can't even be called to care enough to hate those who wrong me
The apathy is a disease
Debilitating, hindering

Because I would give my world to ruin yours
I would give the world to fight your fire with my inferno

But in my search for revenge
I've sought to to harness the anger, this spark of anguish
And all that's come of it is a frozen heart
Numbness of mind
Callous disregard of a world not so easily gained
But I'd throw it all away right now
Just to feel some small sense of anything
I need catharsis 
I need release

Who will provide?
Who can cool the burns? 
Who can warm the frostbitten?

Or is it just opposite sides of the spectrum?
Is there no middle ground, only polarized circumstances? 

I just want to feel alive
I want to feel alive and show you all what I will become
Without you 
Beyond you
Apathetic no more